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It’s been a while!!!!!!!!

April 12, 2009

Wow, so my blog efforts didn’t last too long. So much has happened, not sure where I should even start. Many good things, some bad things-more hopeless things…

My hell semester is over and gone, and this one is nearing the end as well…it has been a while! A block week blur, assignments completed, handed in, graded. Friends made, fun had, parties given and attended. Tears cried, smiles shown, many shivers, more hugs and kisses (never enough). Mind is peaceful, calmer, more me…ahhhh, I can think and concentrate (to some degree). I don’t feel crazy, ungrounded, and about to crack at any given comment, phone call…look. Paranoia fading..that was the worst…anxiety weakening…though still struggling. I feel so in control, out of control, if you know what I mean….

I need to focus, focus, focus…I need to fight fight FIGHT! and STOP…it will be hard, i have little time, but I CAN do it. I MUST do it… to survive, to make her smile, and make me smile….to feel that peace, to rid that guilt, to live a life, make a life, have a life…

It’s been a while for so many things, so much more, sooo much time…

I will take back my time, reclaim what’s mine..

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