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Nothing New?

December 10, 2009

So, I went to the gym this morning before work (ambitious, I know!) and did 20 minutes on the stepmill (10 minutes shorter than planned) and worked by guns with free weights. When doing cardio I attempt to distract myself as much as possible, seriously, the least present I am, the better. This involves copious amounts of trashy magazines, loud music, watching girls with poor form elliptical their hearts out, laughing inside at the men with steroid-ed arms and twiggy legs, checking myself out correcting my form, and envying the girl with my dream biceps. You do it too, who are you kidding? Anyway, I was stepping my heart out to Kayne and Rihanna, and flipping through a Health magazine from 2000. Seriously, “what crevice was this pulled out of, how many years of stale sweat and last years strand of flu are hiding between these pages? ” I thought, but soon forgot because frankly, I don’t care, and I proceeded to christen it with the product of my mindless stepping….anyway, this magazine made me realize that despite the years that have passed, not a lot has changed. I mean, pick up any health or fitness magazine and you read the same crap over and over and over. Pick up a health/fitness magazine from 2000 and you’ll be shocked how much HASN’T changed.

I (re)read how green tea boosts metabolism, how you can get fit with 3 simple moves, how eating whole-grains is good for you. Special K was still attempting to convince women that you can eat cereal 3 times a day and feel fabulous (give me a f*ckin break, I’d probably start eating the crumbs in my keyboard, and yours, and anything slightly edible in sight if I had to live off cereal that has a negligent amount of fiber and enough calories to sustain…my finger..). They still had the same stir fry recipe, low-fat soup, and lower calories swaps we all know and hate love. They of course told you all about antioxidants-red wine, dark chocolate, blah blah blah. Women wrote in with the same 5 questions and answer inquires recycled in every other health magazine (seriously, do they even have to do research to answer those anymore). Obviously, I should get my own health magazine, or shut up and suck it up cause I know I’ll keep reading them to busy my bored, stepmilling brain. Let’s just say my 2002 Cosmo wasn’t much more fascinating…

 

If anything’s changed since 2000, it’s Brittney….

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Lindsay permalink
    December 11, 2009 1:30 am

    lol this is hilarious and too true. Poor Britney 😉

  2. December 11, 2009 1:39 am

    gah Lindsay, you’re my first comment AND I’m pretty sure-my new best friend! Yes, Brit’s had it rough!

  3. December 11, 2009 2:05 am

    You are pretty f*cking funny my dear lady. haha.

    I do the same things at the gym, but most specifically at my gym I am quietly praying that the creepy 30-something with a peg leg (LITERALLY) will stop flirting with me and think hes impressive by telling me how drunk him and his buddies get when “clubbing” on the weekends. AWESOME.

  4. December 11, 2009 2:21 am

    HAHAH I totally know what you’re talking about, it’s so ‘high-school’ to brag about how smashed you got-I find it’s best to just smile and nodd, or, out creep him-turn up the tunes and sing along. My voice is enough to scare anyone away though…

  5. December 11, 2009 3:08 am

    at least you got your workout in!! it is soooooooooooooooo hard for me to motivate myself too! ESP. since I quit skating and I can’t really say…..oh well, GC YOU ARE COMPETING NEXT MONTH. or GC you will be able to skate with so much more power! SO YA. i struggle! and yes, I still have my Cosmo Girl, Teen Vogues, Girl’s life…..all of those hilarious old magazines describing the first period, how to get that boy to ask you to homecoming, etc. etc.

    hilarious right?!

    HAPPY THURSDAY LADY!

  6. December 11, 2009 3:19 am

    Well, despite motivation you seem like you have some pretty rockin’ fitness levels-I may be a cheater but like to think every little bit of movement counts. Like “hey, I walk the 10 minutes home, I took those 5 stairs”…if you get enough of those you start to feel pretty good about yourself :-p. I’d love to try pilates that you seem uber-into. If I can get abs like you, yes mamm, I’m on it.

    As for the mags-I will never abandon trashy ‘lit’. It’s oddly fufilling…

  7. Lynn at The Actors Diet permalink
    December 11, 2009 6:04 am

    i like the idea of looking through a really old magazine. things always change and evolve, even though they sometimes feel like they move at a snails pace

  8. December 11, 2009 6:48 am

    touche Lynn, touche. It is fun seeing the old ads. I find fashion changes the most-I’m like, seriously, that was cool once? (off to go hide my scrunchies)

  9. December 11, 2009 7:30 am

    The stairmill is so tough. I do 10 mins on that thing and call it quits and I can run a marathon.

  10. December 11, 2009 7:49 am

    Yea, it’s pretty masochistic, but a damn good workout! A marathon is impressive though! I want to try for a 10K but have never run one. How did you start out training?!

  11. December 12, 2009 4:03 pm

    I love the blog….I do 5 min circuits when doing cardio to beat boredome. Pick 4 different machines and do 5 min each (treadmill, elliptical, stairmill, bike)
    Repeat and you got a heart pumping circuit 🙂

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