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December 11, 2009

I don’t know why I feel the need to document this, but today-grossness was pervasive. I was using a public toilet (not the gross part) and saw two massive green/red/brown/yellow boogers stuck to the wall next to the toilet paper dispenser. Seriously, they had their own presence. There, staring at me on the wall. Gagging, and trying to pee faster, I wondered why, dear friends, did someone feel the need to place their snot on the wall when they had an industrial sized roll (the ones only found in shady public washrooms) sitting conveniently next to them. I decided this was a deliberate act of grossness. Come on people, put your boogers somewhere else, preferably not in the vicinity of my face or naked crotch!

Also gross is the guy I walked by who felt the need to grab a fist full of his package and rearrange it in his tighty tight biking shorts. We can see it well enough, but thanks.

Gross-the double cheese pizza, on cheese filled crust, topped with nine types of meat you can now get at pizza hut (….who am I kidding, it looks awesome).

Also gross, the guys who feels the need to blow his nose (more like hawk) excessively while I attempt to consume my lunch. I love the sound of flem and congestion while I consume my meals…please, do it louder.

Gross, when people spit on the ground…indoors…yes, I saw that today.

I’m not sure what’s fueled this day of gross-ness…or even why I care (I grew up picking weird bugs out of my cereal and not being able to drink the nonpotable tap water) I’m blaming it on the proliferation of H1N1 WARNINGS around. Seriously, by the way they ‘advertise’ it they could make hugs sound deadly. There are hand sanitizer dispensers all around, but I think they’re gross. Do you know how many people touch those things before they attempt to chemically sanitize their hands-dirty before clean guys-helloooo?

Don’t worry though, I’m ‘safe’. I got my shot. I know for sure I got my shot cause it feels like I got punched in the arm by THE Hulk, or maybe MammaPea (have you seen that woman’s guns?) I know for sure cause I lifted my arms trying to clothe myself and wanted to cry. No pain, no gain…gotta watch out for that H1N1…what does that even stand for anyway? (I obviously have serious concerns about this deadly virus).

Anywho..I’m off to go drink out of the same cup as Connor, and snack those skittles I dropped floor last night…get vaccinated folks…

They’re actually pretty cute…

…Ok..I just had to add, that I’m watching the Food Network (duhhhhh), but Heston just de-intestinized a pig in front of a dinner table…now they’re talking about an ejaculating a pig…what has the Food Network come to….gross…geeez?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 11, 2009 9:09 am

    I am gagging just reading about what you saw. I think I would have thrown up!!

    I am a Canadian too but for some ridiculous reason I am living in L.A.!

  2. December 11, 2009 9:11 am

    Ameena-wanna switch places…seriously, I’m packing my bags right now!

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